Next surprise

Plan was to have pet scan tomorrow then Dr visit on Friday to hear all results from all tests.  Not expecting anything from last Friday cause they could not even find the gall bladder and dye just quit moving.  However Dr called today and that did tell them that Gall Bladder is not functioning so time to get rid of it,  so now I see a surgeon early tomorrow and and set up surgery then the pet scan.  I really pray this all works out logistically to get rid of this pain and cold sweats.  I have not had surgery in over 30 years so guess I can't complain.  

I know I can count on your prayers as we continue this journey.  

Still so very week and praying the gall bladder removal will help me regain some strength.  I feel so helpless just laying and hardly able to care for myself.  I've always been very independent, and now not even being able to stand up long enough to fix a glass of ice water has been a real emotional blow.  My kids and grands are more than willing to do whatever I need, it's just hard for me to ask and hard for them to read my mind.

Tomorrow I also move back to Christys.  The girls are both so precious and I am very comfy at either home and love spending time with all the grands, so switching weekly is fine with me.  I just pray they are honest and don't don't let me wear either of them out.  I am higher maintenance than ever before.  Oh I guess I have to repent on that one.  Mike treated me like a queen everytime I had a baby, and I just let him.  I figured it was the least I could do😀

More when I know more

Time changes all things

Proven to be true time and again.  Less than 2 weeks ago I dreaded my upcoming oncology appointment cause I knew it was gonna get real when I heard a real Dr say the word cancer to me.  Now after at least 9 Dr visits or tests, I am eager to get this started.  Still a pet scan on Wed and then a Dr visit.  Such a process.  Today was a tough day but toughest part was no result.  Last night I had to quit all intake by midnight and test was at 10am till 12 or 2. It was a hyda scan.   Injected with radio active isotope then just lay on a tray while they took pics for a few hours while the stuff flowed through my liver to my other stuff then to my gall bladder.  Fortunately I was tired enough to sleep until 1:30 then got the news that they would just take one more pic and call it done. The dye never got to my gall bladder.  Since the tech would or could tell me nothing, I googled it and talked to a lady who had the same results.  Seems when it does not show up in gall bladder it is usually because the gall bladder had completely shut down.  Maybe that's why it doesn't hurt anymore.  PTL. It was no news and not bad news.  Thanks for your continued prayer support

This verse was brought to my mind today Linda and it has helped me in the past and now again..  May God make it a blessing to you as well

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he[a] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

Thank you Lord for feeling better

Well,  maybe we can try his again and do better this time.  Although not much has changed with the cancer, I did get a stronger antibiotic for the gall bladder infection.  I've had 4 doses and already fever is better or possibly gone.  But that has made a world of difference to have no chills or fever for about 12 hours.  Usually up to 102 by 7pm. So really encouraged.  I was afraid I was gonna feel that rotten till we got this thing whipped.  I have been up for 7 hours and still feel like posting so that's big.  Although the dr appt yesterday was still non conclusive about liver he did pay a little more attention to my complaints of pain and fever.  He really does not want to operate on Gall bladder until he knows what all needs to come out so he can do as much as he can while I'm open for gall bladder. Makes sense to me but the pain I was in and the frequent fever and chills need to end according to me.so he added pain reliever, and anti whatever for infection.  They were talking about me going septic and that sounded scary so I'm praising God that we seem to have the infection on the run.

Then there was the blood pressure.  Apparently the less blood you have the less pressure you have and can run the risk of kidney damage which of course we want to avoid.blood count was down to 8.4 and apparently guideline say don't add till its down to 8.  So I'm drinking lots of water and taking iron to build that back up.  Blood pressure is better.

Friday I go for a hida scan for gall bladder then next week a pet scan.

I've figured out these tests.  It's all a breaking it to you gently thing.  If they found all the problems and told you all of it, you prolly could not handle it.  So all of them do all these tests and tell you a little bit about what could happen.  After a couple of weeks of this you have heard it all so when they tell you the full diagnoses you have heard it all before.  I hope it will be easier that way.

All in all no real news. I have a bad gall bladder, colon cancer,and looking elsewhere for more.  But it is amazing to me how much easier it is to have a good attitude when not in pain and fever free.  I know it's not gonna be easy but it'll be worth the effort.  I love life and I love God and although I suspect were all gonna die someday, I really don't think this is my final run.  I expect to learn a lot through these coming trials, and I expect God to use these events to bring Glory to His holy name.

No words.

Well it wasn't really any surprise but those ugly words kept coming up.  Just not able to find any words to come after well and hello.  I'll try again tomorrow

At last Lord a Rey of hope!

It's been a long weekend but a productive one. I've learned a lot about myself and admitted some of it.  But good news first.  The news on Friday was preliminary results of colonoscopy. Well the good news is that to did not get any worse when the actual report came back.  Lots of biopsies taken but only the one cancer at the bottom right corner of Colon.  Inflammation in esophagus can be ok with meds.  A polyp where the stomach goes into the intestine needs attention but not cancerous.  No other issues.  That was the first good news in this whole ordeal but I was encouraged. 

My friend Cindy told me to do exactly way at the Dr said. She had cancer 25 years ago and has everytime she contacts me she says do exactly what the Dr says.  Well, I'm not good at going to Dr so not good at listening and doing either.  But I had been in terrible pain for several weeks and was asking the very minimum meds that I could get by with. If it said 2 I'd do 1 if it said 4 hours I'd push for 6.  But Sunday morning I divided to do it.  I could not eat from pain and could not sleep and could not get around very well.  Now I'm taking Tylenol and nexium like the dr said and really feeling better. Sleeping better and eating a little more.  Still small amounts cause gall bladder does get mad a sme things and at quantities.  Like the pbj I tried for bedtime snack.  While eating it I read about it and found its not good. To much fat.  I only ate a forth but already suffering.  Need to read first eat later.  Until we really get a complete diagnosis I guess food is all questionable.  

My friend Karin posted a beautiful reminder about faith...

"What is faith?  It is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen.  It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead."   Hebrews 11:1

I had not had the courage until then to tell God what I wanted. I want to Live.  I've had such an amazing life and so full and complete. I have a son, a husband , parents and so many more waiting in Heaven that I was a little torn.  Somehow I just couldnt say I want to live. But when I read that I knew I wanted to live.  It may be a tough battle but I'm a fighter and plan to fight with all I've got and plan to be victorious and give God all the glory.  If it was easy, I could still praise Him with all I have, but I'm ok either way cause I Believe He still has challenges for me to meet and in all things give thanks.  I do know that everyday will now have new meaning and I pray I waste NO more of the time God gives me.

I did have a sono gram of liver, gall bladder, pancrease today so will hear more about that tomorrow at visit with oncologist.  Expecting him to call for a pet scan before deciding on treatment plan.  It's been a long 2 weeks but I've learned a lot and now pray I'll put it to good use and we continue this journey. Please I pray you continue to pray for me and my amazing family.  They are taking such good care of me.  I don't have to worry about anything I just follow them around and they get get me to the right place at the right time in the proper condition.  They are doing a shared custody thing. Last week I was with Christy and this week I'm with Michelle.thank you Lord for my amazing daughters.

First step

You don't often look forward to an unknown journey that is out of your control, but sometimes that's the hand you draw.  I love to travel so thinking of this as a journey helps me embrace t and see it as an adventure. In Amman Jordan 3 years ago I was involved in a tear gas attack.  Not what I was expecting but what I got.  Quite an adventure though not fun.  

Now I embark on another journey. My personal trip THROUGH cancer.  There I said it.  Not an easy word to say for me.  I have avoided thinking about it all my life and since my family tends more toward bad hearts, I though you dealt with hearts or cancer and expected mine would be heart problems that would take me HOME.  Well not planning to go HOME yet and still cancer may not be my way out of Earth.  My plan is to embark and then one day debark on the other side of cancer.  I appreciate your love and prayers as I try to share this journey with those who care about my journey or may be on your own journey.

I am 69 and always considered myself to be very healthy. Overweight all my life, born at 10.8 pounds.

Had blood pressure issues for about the last 10 years but under control.  Go to the Dr every year but just to get refills for bp meds.  Do anything I want. Go when and where I want and do whatever I want. Life is good.  *^€~<¥£€#.  Then 2 months ago that came to a screeching halt.  Overnight my stomach started acting like a volcano. Upper and lower grumbling and eruptions. Even moving like I was 10 months pregnant.  I was so uncomfortable I took every anti acid I could find changed my eating and finally called the Dr. Saw a PA who sent me for a ct scan.   Next day she called and said words like, radiologist didn't like it.  Spots here and there. MALIGNANT here, suspicious there. Things I had never heard before.  Very unprofessional of her to present details so scary and on the phone but she was in Weatherford and I was in Allen so she did not want me to have to come an hour and half for this.  Anyway I assumed it was inaccurate but still worrisome. No. It was scary as heck.  Christy was on vaca in Florida so not sure what to do. Worked out Oncologist could not see me till the next Monday.  His attitude was that nothing was conclusive keep texting.  Only conclusion was Gall stone and critically low Hemoglobin count. So got 2 units of blood and tests.  Yesterday the colonoscopy was pretty conclusive ( but let's leave God room to be God ). Colon cancer. Several biopsies to see where else it could be or is not.  Praying for is not.  Still lots of bloating and indigestion. Praying its gall bladder but symptoms could be liver as well. Eyes are clear and numbers in blood work were good for liver so please join me in praying for liver to be clear.  Pretty serious pain in area of gall bladder so hoping liver is ok and they can yank that gall bladder out.  I think it will be easier to strike out on this journey if I'm not in pain.. New blood made me stronger so that was a blessing. But I've got some even better blood working for me and that's the blood of Jesus. I am so happy that I know Jesus is in control and all things are possible through Him if I only believe.  I Believe